I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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