just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You made out with two different species that night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
