i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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