I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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