I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
