I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
