If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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