He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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