So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
