gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
