I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
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I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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