Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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