i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just found puke in my bra..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
