with your own penis?
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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