Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
