Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
