So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
