The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
