Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
