we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
