yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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