I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
