yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
