I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
