Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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