Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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