Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
