You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
