Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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