yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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