Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
