Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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