i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
as a side note pls kill me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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