I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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