I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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