I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
