In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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