Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this just has baby written all over it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
