For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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