I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
