you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
