is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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