If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i've created a new STD.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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