My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
