Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
