Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
