I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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