That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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