I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
