Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
