that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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