No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
