Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
