this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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