just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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