That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
