i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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