Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
