we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize