Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
