He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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