I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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