I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize