I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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