i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
