My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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