she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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