Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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