Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
