I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
