worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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